Demetri Martin didn’t have to stick to his list of one-liners at his Schine Underground performance Wednesday night.

Martin stopped mid-routine and looked down at the temporary stage he was standing on.

‘Oh, look there’s tape on here,’ he said as he removed it, noting that it was probably for a student play. ‘Looks like that show is going to be a little different.’

Martin was able to keep the Underground rolling with his mellow style of comedy. Everything from his preparations onstage to his musical comedy was a solid mix of scripted jokes and improvisations using the energy of the audience.

Senior television, radio and film major Josh Simpson opened for Martin. His performance was University Union Comedy’s chance to get more student performers opening up for the major acts it brings to SU, said UU president Dennis Jacobs. Wednesday night’s show was UU Comedy’s final event of the year, but the organization is currently looking for new talent to perform next semester.

‘I like to pretend like I’m a midget when I perform,’ Martin said, raising his microphone stand to its maximum height before he began. He then continued his preparations by pouring himself some water … into a bottle cap.

‘It just takes me so long to drink,’ Martin said.

Martin also took time to comment on his surroundings in the Underground.

‘I told them I wouldn’t do the show unless I had specific requests met. Like the huge, useless soundboard on the side of the stage. And the pillars that block your view of me,’ Martin said.

Like the now-deceased comedian Mitch Hedberg, the majority of Martin’s show consisted of short, dry jokes. But unlike Hedberg’s often recycled jokes, Martin was able to mix it up with a little musical aid. Martin delivered hilarious one-liner after hilarious one-liner as he played a techno beat on a glockenspiel and keyboard:

‘I like digital cameras. They allow you to reminisce immediately.’

‘I heard this lady say ‘I love kids.’ That’s like saying ‘I love people for only a little while.”

‘I want to launch a globe into outer space, just to fuck with the astronauts.’

‘I think a secret admirer is just a stalker with stationary.’

‘I think hair gel was invented to identify assholes from a distance.’

‘I saw a bookmark on sale for $1, and I thought, ‘Why don’t I just use the dollar?”

‘The problem with kiddy porn is that it just sounds so cute.’

‘Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.’

The audience quickly caught on to Martin’s hilarious quips, causing him to slow down his routine because of the loud fits of laughter.

Music wasn’t the only way Martin mixed up his jokes. For one segment of his show, he brought out a large drawing pad with several illustrations to augment his humor.

‘All you have to do to make a mythical creature is add wings. A lion becomes a griffin. A horse becomes a Pegasus. And a hawk, becomes a double-hawk,’ Martin said, pointing to his illustration of a bird with four wings.

Martin’s biggest crowd pleaser, however, was the way he improvised jokes by interacting with the audience. At the beginning of the show, he made note of how his microphone constantly made an electronic buzzing sound.

‘That’s the kind of sound you hear right before you die,’ Martin said. ‘Just like ‘oops’ and ‘get him!”

Before Martin took the stage, Simpson touched on some of the finer points of Syracuse life, such as the snowy weather, Marshall Square Mall and the diverse culture on Erie Boulevard.

‘I went to Dream Girls … but its one of those dreams where you feel confused, guilty and needing a bath when you wake up in the morning,’ Simpson said.

Published on December 7, 2005 at 12:00 pm